EPT MONACO - SATURDAY - FINAL TABLE

I gave my poolside interview to Thomas, then showered and was treated to lunch at Tip Top, where we talked poker and movies. Time flew, and suddenly it was nearing four o'clock, so it was time to go to the venue for interviews. They asked the basics: online vs live play; did I ever think I'd make it this far?; what will I do with the money? I responded with the unconventional preference for online play, although I am very much enjoying this live event. Sure, I thought I had a chance to make the final table. If you think you don't, then there's no way to get there. If I win first, then I'm turning pro - anything else, and I'm getting my yard landscaped.

They introduced us like we were taking the field for the fall classic, prompting the audience to hoot and holler for each of us in turn. It was neat to take my seat with Martin De Knijff and Greg Raymer applauding me. The game was quiet for several hands until Alex livened it up a bit with some table talk. European games are not known for table talk, and I didn't want to look like a fool on TV, plus I was concentrating on the game, so I kept fairly silent throughout. The audience members had their allegiances and each player's rakes were met with scattered applause. My posse was Thomas, Dana, Stacey, Jeff, and Kelly. It was really nice to hear the applause whenever I raked a pot.

Mikhail was out pretty quick, which earned me twenty grand. Alex scored his first suckout of the day, when his JJ connected on the flop to beat Mikhail's QQ. I had told the interviewer that although I want first place, I should have no problem getting to at least fifth. Now one short stack was gone, and I hadn't even gotten my feet wet.

I was getting no good hands to play, and other than stealing a couple of blinds, I was not too involved in pots. With Ben short-stacked, and Alex not so healthy, I could afford to wait awhile. Finally, Ben called Rob's raise and a key hand was in the making. The flop came 6KQ and Ben checked. Rob, who had already sneaked a peak at the flop, was nonchalantly watching the monitor over my shoulder, and when the action came to him, he made a quick glance at the flop, then checked and went back to the monitor. I thought to myself, wow, here I am at the final table of a major event, with a 48-year-old seasoned professional making a classic strong-as-weak tell. I just knew that Rob had nailed the flop, because he appeared supremely uninterested in it. I figured him for KQ. He did, after all, raise preflop, and now has had the flop checked to him. Even if he is sitting on an underpair, he should at least be considering making a play at the pot once it was checked to him.

The turn was a jack, and now Ben put in some hard thinking, before deciding to take his AJ all in. I knew he was up against it, and sure enough Rob was sitting on a set of kings. For as well as Ben had played since I'd been watching, I was surprised that he missed what I had caught. I was sure that Rob was sitting on a monster because I had been watching him rather than the cards. Ben was only playing the cards, and finished in 7th place.

A few hands later, things begin to look up. I was dealt QJh, and I got to play for the price of the big blind in a five-way family pot. The flop came 344 with two hearts. Rob bet out 6000, and Alex called, and I called. The turn was the ace of hearts, giving me, not the nuts, but most probably the best hand. I was hoping against hope that somebody made a smaller flush. Rob checked, and Alex bet. I smooth called, hoping that Alex had a nice ace and I could feign kicker problems. The river was the 7 of spades, and Alex checked his pair of sixes to me. I made a nice bet, and since he had no ace, he got off the hand. It was a nice pot, my best of the day, but how I wish Alex had a four or an ace/king there.

I was right in the thick of it, trailing only Romain and Brandon, while miles ahead of Abdulaziz and Alex. Then it got ugly. I was one off the button, and decided to attempt a steal of Romain's blind with Q5d. Romain called the bet. The flop came 3QK rainbow. I had middle pair with a horrendous kicker, but I was fairly certain Romain did not have a king, and likely no queen either. I really thought I had the best hand, so when Romain fired at the pot, I put in a big raise to scare him away. He pondered awhile, then pushed a huge stack of chips towards me. Now what could I do? He did the same thing yesterday on a stone cold bluff to get me to lay down kings. I certainly couldn't call. I needed to push all in or fold. Even though I had connected with the flop, I only had second pair with a weak kicker. Romain could have had Q3, Q6, K2, or 33, or even JT with a shot at drawing out on me.

With two short stacks at the table and forty grand to be made by waiting them out, I decided to lay it down. I asked Romain to show me one card and he flipped over a deuce. I couldn't believe it. He showed the other one and it was a nine. Whoa! The guy is so reckless, he is hard to defend against. He called my preflop raise with every intent of stealing the pot with a stone cold bluff. I had raised preflop, so there is a very good likelihood that I connected with that flop, and indeed I had, so I don't think Romain's bravado would make Phil Gordon proud, but he won the pot, so kudos. Lucky for him, I was playing a marginal hand. If I had hit the K5 rather than Q5, I believe I would have gone all in there.

Alex got lucky again when he went all in with KQ against Romain's AT. Even though Romain started with the best hand, and finished with two pair, Alex hit trips and doubled up. This guy wouldn't die.

I was determined to get into a pot with Romain. I decided that I wouldn't ever raise his blind, but merely call, so that I could get him pushing in huge stacks against me when I had a hand. Sadly, I would never get that opportunity. On his next big blind, I called with KT. Brandon also entered the pot from the button. The flop came 4K2 and I bet out 25,000. Brandon called and Romain folded. Okay, I'm playing against the wrong guy. The turn was a 5 and I bet out 50,000, fairly sure that my kings were good. Brandon raised to 120,000 without a moment's hesitation. Did he hit his straight? Is he sitting on a set? Does he have me out-kicked? Or is he just trying to steal it with a pair of sixes? Well, if he called my first bet and raised my second, whatever he had must be better than my KT. I obviously have a king, so I don't think he would be trying to get me to lay down the best hand. I don't know what he had, but I laid down my kings, and he told me as he raked that he didn't think I had a king. This is the hand I am most looking forward to seeing on TV. I sure hope I didn't lay down the best hand there.

Brandon got involved with a huge hand against Romain, in which Romain missed his flush draw and fired a ton of chips at the river. Brandon made the call and took down the pot, giving him a ton of chips. Brandon was getting the action against Romain that I was dying for.

I had one more good hand in me. I had KJd (I think) and the flop gave me a flush draw. I checked it down, even after I made the nut flush on the turn. I finally bet the river, but got no action. That's bum luck - why can't the other guy have an ace in this situation?

Abdulaziz decided to raise all in versus Romain with K6 - a questionable tactic in my opinion, since Romain is wont to gamble and K6 is no powerhouse. Romain showed 88 and knocked out Abdul in 6th place.

Once more, I merely called Romain's big blind. I had 44, which would have been a better raising hand in this situation, since there are untold ways to miss the flop. But, I wanted Romain to play at me, so I took the longshot that I might get a favorable flop. The flop was 338. I thought my pair was good, so I bet it. Romain called, then bet into me when a 7 hit the turn. It's a tactic he has used before, which suggests weakness. Again my options were to fold or push all in, because calling would be suicidal. He could have hit a 3, 8, 7, or might just have two live overcards waiting to hit. I can't call here, because then what do I do if he bets again on the river. I decided to wait for a better spot, and I laid down my fours. I'm sure I'll see him betting J6 on that hand when it airs.

I began feeling like the table was running all over me. I realized I needed to make a stand soon to show that you can't just raise me off every pot. The very thing I was waiting to do to Romain, I attempted instead against Brandon. He raised under the gun on my blind, while I held 88. He probably had two face cards, I think, and we are looking at a coin flip. Still, I needed to see the flop before pushing my chips in. The flop was T64 with two clubs. I figured I was in the lead, and I wanted Brandon to make a play for the pot before I got huge. He bet out 40,000. I was barely even considering what he might hold, knowing only that 88 is a great hand in a short-handed game. I suppose it was possible he had a ten, but more likely KQ, QJ, AJ, or the like. I double checked my cards to make sure I held a club, which I did, and I announced all in. I wanted to make a bet that he would not be able to call, even if he did have KT, QT, or JT.

Of course, he had aces, a possibility I had never even entertained. I could have discovered this if I had merely put in a big raise, rather than putting myself at risk going all in. I would have hated to lay down the eights, but I would have still been alive at least. Instead, I made a bet that he could only call if he had me beat, and sure enough he did. Oops, that was not Romain pushing in forty grand with 92, that was Brandon, the good player. Oh boy. The seven on the turn gave me four more outs as a nine would have given me a straight, but it was not to be, and I was out in 5th place. I'll never forget the look on Alex's face, as he was stunned that I would make such a misplay.

I wish I had outlasted Alex. I kept watching him get lucky and rob me of the twenty grand that I would earn with his ouster. He wound up outlasting even Romain, finishing third. I enjoyed playing with him though, as I spent more time with him than any other player over the course of four days.

I gave my interview to Caroline Flack and busted her up when I told her my daughter instructed me to stay out of the "loser's lounge" and now I find myself there. I hope that makes the show. She literally doubled over with laughter, and I was left with nobody to talk with, so I looked to the camera to finish my line. Again I reiterated that the money I won was going to make some local LA landscaper very busy.

I talked a bit with Kevin O'Connell and Jani Sointula, then joined my posse for dinner and drinks. I finally broke out the Cuban cigar that I had bought when I was waiting for my room on day one. It was magnificent, so I bought Cubans for the posse, and we all enjoyed champagne and good conversation with dinner. At the end of my meal, I ran into Brandon, and realized that the event was over. I hurried over to the venue to see John Duthie to make sure I got paid. John put me with Thomas, the tournament director, who laid 8000 euros on me and had me sign for the rest.

After giving me all this cash, Thomas asked me if I would like to leave a tip for the dealers. I knew that several thousand euros were withheld from the prize pool for this purpose, so I naturally thought that this tip was meant for the two dealers who were working "overtime" at the final table. I laid down a 100 euro bill ($130), feeling generous, as this was by far the biggest tip I had ever left anyone, plus it would be combined with the other seven finalists to make for a very nice tip. Thomas had a look of horror on his face, and somehow I thought that he was insulted as I shoved 7900 euros into my billfold.

Back at the hotel, I spent over an hour in the lobby with Dana, Stacey, John Fanning and Greg Raymer. It was 4AM, and people were preparing to fly home. Greg was telling Brandon about his contract and coaching him on how to get sponsored for events. Thomas and his assistant came to the front desk and the female assistant asked to have a word with me in private. In my head, I was playing out a scenario where she was going to offer to sponsor me as a PokerStars player, but instead, she handed me my 100-euro bill back and told me that she is unable to split it thirty ways (for the thirty dealers) and is glad that I had a good time. I am insulted at the gesture, but I still want to make it right, so I asked her what would be a more appropriate tip. She repeated that she is happy I had a good time, and the insult is complete. Now, I may have insulted Thomas by under-tipping his people, but it was an honest mistake by a novice player. The insult of returning the money to me was deliberate and carried out by an underling. This was the only sore spot of an otherwise fantastic experience.

I got back to my room and packed as the sun came up. I took a long bath in lieu of a short nap, and headed to the airport. I had ridden a bus to Monaco from Nice, but I was styling in a cab on the return trip. I tipped the driver 30 euros and felt like the big guy.