ANOTHER UNPLEASANT VALLEY SUNDAY

Somebody told me today that they saw a TV show about the hottest places in the USA and Woodland Hills was third. Wow, we are like Death Valley's baby brother. It is just crazy hot here. Since AC is a must, I have been actively conserving other less vital electricity lately - doing laundry only in the morning and running the dishwasher only at night. My pool filter is running all day, and I generally have three computers on at any one time while I watch television, but it makes me feel good to have an altruistic reason to not do laundry or dishes as often as I should. After all, as Constanza reminds us from syndication, we are living in a SOCIETY.

Well, my agenda for Sunday involved poker and more poker. Not long before the poker got underway, the power went out. I was faced with the prospect of having to spend the day with my family without the aid of electronics. Mason kept asking me crazy kid stuff like if he could watch a movie until the power came back on, or if he could just play video games while the power was out. I explained to him the concept of reading, but he wasn't interested. Finally, the power kicked back on and we all scattered like roaches to our respective electronic aides.

As it turns out, I would have saved a lot of money if the power had stayed off. I played three $200 tourneys and a $75 and found no glory in any of them. I funded my Party Poker account and played that one for the first time ever. I love the $5000 starting stack. I was doing fairly well, until I ran into one of those hands that I knew was either going to make or break me: with a raise and a call in front of me, I called with Jh Th. The flop came Kh Qh Js and you just can't lay down the open-ended straight-flush draw even when there is action in front of you, or at least I can't.

The original raiser bet out and the next guy put in a huge raise. I just couldn't let it go and I don't think I am supposed to in that spot. I went ahead and pushed all in, hoping both opponents would call, but knowing I needed to improve to win. The original raiser folded and the big hand I was up against turned out to be the T9 made straight. I guess he didn't take me for AT and I don't blame him. He had the second nuts but he was vulnerable. Give me a moment and I'll go run the percentages...OK, I'm back - looks like I was 55% to win or tie at that point, maybe a bit less if the original raiser folded AK or AQ. It was a gamble, but if I don't love that flop, then why am I calling raises with JT suited? My stack was $11k at the time and this was a chance to get over $20k and become a real force. Needless to say, two black bricks fell on the felt and my tournament prospects dimmed with my eventual demise a formality.

I also busted out of the events at PokerStars and Full Tilt and even busted out of another $75 Full Tilt event for good measure. I did manage to rail coola a bit at Stars after I busted out of that one. Coola is Chris Birchby, known at other sites as MarvinGarden. I gave him props for finishing fourth the other day in a WSOP event. He pocketed over $140k which is always cause for celebration. Of course it is no $156k as I once won, but it'll do. Chris is a much more consistant winner than I am and he is a swell guy, so I love to see him make money. The night I was railing him on his march to the final table, I called him at two in the morning when play ended for the day as it got down to nine players. I thought I was calling his cell phone, but I dialed his home phone instead and left a rambling message while his brother/roommate Tim was probably looking for his handgun.

Chris told me that Wake All In was at a final table with Colson10. I had been railing Olson in the $2k NL event, but I didn't realize that Josh Wakeman was someone I "knew." I don't really know him, but we have exchanged pleasantries on occasion at PokerRoom, where we are both well known. Josh finished 7th and Carl finished 6th and both will be on ESPN soon. Neither made $156k which is the benchmark by which I judge all payouts. Carl has made over $400k on tour and he is at least ten years younger than dudeseeg, but neither he nor MarvinGarden has made a $150k cash, so I've still got that on them. See, like Hellmuth, I invent artificial benchmarks to keep myself in a class above. Meanwhile, I rail them from home while I play $75 events that are not televised.

But it is true that I was elevated to LEGEND status by PokerRoom over the weekend. Check this out.