BLUE JAY WAY

There's a fog upon LA. It is easy to see from high atop Blue Jay Way, a street that has gotten no easier to find since George Harrison wrote his little ditty in 1967. The Celebrity Poker Tournament was held in the house across the street from the one which was rented by the late Beatle all those years ago when he was fab. Marci was my date and we met up with Thomas Falkerstrom of PokerRoom and fellow players Chris (MarvinGarden), Joey (Joeybux), and resident pro, Jim (JDtrojan3). Jim's girlfriend and dog made an appearance, but I didn't get a proper introduction before she left. Chris' girlfriend, Kristian accompanied him, as did his brother, Tim.

The tournament got started around 8:30 PM by tournament director Robert Thompson of Celebrity Poker Showdown fame. I didn't recognize anyone at my table. They were all generally good players, outside of some loose calls on the turn. The guy to my left was a talkative fellow named Ethan. On the very first deal, I played one of my favorite hands, 54 and the flop came A23. I thought I was in for a very good night. I bet out into a family pot and Ethan called. The turn was a 5, which ruined my well-concealed straight. Ethan had 43 and he called me down when a 6 rivered. This morning I googled Ethan at IMDB to see if I could figure out who he was and he was the first name that came up - Ethan Embrey. It turns out he works a ton. His wife was also at our table, but google came up empty on her name.

There was a girl at my table named Courtney, who could have passed as a brunette Courtney Friel. She was quite fetching, was getting great cards, but was unable to lay them down in the face of obvious defeat. I identified her as my best target for chip accumulation purposes, but I got nothing but junk and couldn't get into a pot with anybody for the next hour-plus. The table bully was a tall redhead guy, whom I vaguely recognized as a character actor. He was a strong bettor, generally showing down winners. He must have missed a few flops, but the continuation bets were enough to take down the pot without a showdown. I got into one hand against him when I called his raise with 76c. The flop was a ragged J72. He bet and I called. The turn was a 4, not a club, and did nothing to improve my hand. He made a strong bet and I mucked to preserve my stack for the later that would never arrive.

The defining hand of the night for me was when I decided to play K7h on the button after folding about twenty hands in a row. The flop was AA4 with two hearts. I hated that flop since it hinted at a nut flush but also a full house. Courtney bet out $500, which was fairly meek, and the redhead guy cold called. I was easily getting odds to call, so I tossed in a big chip. The turn was a dud and this time Courtney checked. Red tossed in $1500, which was a bet I hated. It represented nearly half my stack, while also giving me calling odds to chase my flush. I didn't figure him for a full house, so I made the reluctant call. My tournament chances pretty much hinged on the river card. I was either all in or all out with the nagging possibility that my heart will complete his full house. The river was the 7d, which paired me, but I knew it was no good. He put me all in and I folded, giving me a stack of about $1700. He showed me an ace, which comfirmed to me that he didn't have the boat, so at least I knew I played it right.

I kept getting trash hands, and now bluffing was not an option. I just had to wait for a hand to go with. Ethan's wife called my big blind and David, to my right, put in a raise. I knew his raise meant something, but my QJ was the best hand I had seen all night, so I called with the intention of pushing in if I managed to flop a pair. I lucked out with a QJ7 flop and David pushed all in. I called with my bitty stack and Mrs Embrey folded. David had AA but my two pair held up to get me to about 3/4 my original $5000 stack.

I chatted a bit with Jennifer Tilly at the break, whose stack was about the same as mine. I tried not to stare at her stack as we spoke. I never did strike up a conversation with Phil Laak. It was only afterwards that I remembered that he was at my table when I busted out of the Five Diamond last December. He wound up making the final table - I should have asked him if he remembered my bust out. Poker's power couple were the only famous poker players I recognized at the party. Everyone else seemed to be a vaguely familiar B-list actor. There were only two faces that I could actually put names with: Lukas Haas and Erik Palladino. Marci helped me with Haas and google helped me with Palladino, whom I knew only as Malucci from his ER days.

When it got down to 20 players, our table broke and I got seated next to the guy who owns the house in which we were playing - real nice guy, but didn't get his name. Vaguely familiar character actor, later to be identified as Jeremy Sisto, was consistantly raising my blinds as my stack dwindled, but I couldn't fight back with the trash hands I was getting. I picked up KQ, which looked really good compared to the other garbage, but I made a good fold after a first position raise from a guy who wound up winning a huge pot with QQ.

The final ten players were all going home with nice goody bags, with better and better stuff rewarded for each spot. First place was even getting some kind of cool motor scooter which was parked out front. When the antes kicked in, I was getting blinded out faster than ever. I just needed some kind of hand which I could push with. Finally, I got AJ which was far and away the best hand I had seen all night. I pushed from early position, but was called by a Penn Gillette look-alike with AQ. I went out 16th or so.

Soon after my demise, Joeybux busted out when his 33 was counterfeited by two pair on board. JDtrojan3 got knocked out by running diamonds by a guy who called his preflop all-in with 32d for no apparent reason other than it might be fun. MarvinGarden was an early casualty via the suckout. When the main tourney was down to 20 players, Robert Thompson opened up a table for a $500 second-chance tourney. Chris bought himself, his brother, and his girlfriend in. It was a ten-handed table, but by the time I checked it out, it was down to Chris, Kristian, and Shannon Elizabeth on the short stack. Chris was drunk and playing super-aggressive, collecting chips while Shannon checked her blackberry for messages. Chris offered to hold up the tournament so they could ask Robert whether the payout was three places or just one. Shannon used some of her sailor language to basically let him know that she doesn't give a fuck. "Aren't you two like dating?" she asked. "Just take me out and you two can split it. What the fuck do I care?" Soon after, she got all her money in with pocket tens and Chris busted her with Q7.

Kristian was ready to call it a night, but Chris made her play him heads-up since he didn't want to waste the professional dealer. It became an all-in fest and the lovely Kristian came out on top. Meanwhile, I went back for another helping of the Ruth Chris steak sandwiches. l ran into Courtney, who by this time was very drunk. While we were playing, we never once made eye contact, but now she was liquored up and rubbing against me, giving me the old "I love meat - I can't get enough meat" routine. As I felt the blood rushing to my extremity, I also felt the dotted lines from my wife's eyeballs boring into the back of my head, so I extricated myself from that scene. A younger dudeseeg may have wound up in the flesh of a beautiful young vixen. When we left, Oliver Hudson was the chip leader at the final table. I wished him well and that was the end of my fun night out.